Vincent and the Robbery(Stupidity Guaranteed!)

I had to write this for a class of third graders. The stuff in brackets still existed in the original.

Vincent Valentine whipped his hair back after handing the dirty plate over to the waiting...waiter. He smiled and took a swig of his apple juice, letting out a big sigh when he was done. The event was still stuck in his head.

Last night when he was in the forest, playing his ocarina, he had seen a mysterious man dressed entirely in white. He had silver hair and bright green eyes that shone like bright green eyes(or alien zits. Or green light bulbs.). He had simply glanced at Mr.Valentine, and then, to Vincent's surprise, stuck his tongue out at him. After that, he simply faded away, as though he was a photoshop image and someone was slowly lowering his opacity.

The man had seemed rather mysterious in Vincent's eyes. He just couldn't get that man's figure out of his head.

All of a sudden(No really?)the restaurant door flew open and a couple of ugly looking cowboys, one fat and one tall, both muscular, from the planet Urinus walked in, acting all cool and hip and stuff. Their long green arms waved to the children in the restaurant as they walked up to the waiter who stood behind a very long counter.

The stomach of the tall one opened up and revealed a pair of slimy pink arms. Each hand held a laser gun(Holy shit), and the cowboy aimed the guns at the waiter.

"Hands up, son of a motherfucking bitch," he said to the waiter menacingly(In English), "Before I turn you into a beehive."

The fat one smiled and shot a little boy. Everyone screamed(Naturally), except for our dear Mr. Valentine, who was too busy pulling his ocarina out of his bag(Yeah, all this time he had a black leather bag and you didn't know). He couldn't let these evil Urinus cowboys get away--not without a good song.
(End of chapter 1)

Urinus is pronounced Urine-us.
And this not the same Vincent Valentine from Final Fantasy. Similar, but not the same.

That was so awful, it makes Senthose the Wingman look like a pulitzer prize winner.

Lol, didn't read.

Lucky you.

Neo Bahamut wrote:

That was so awful, it makes Senthose the Wingman look like a pulitzer prize winner.

I never said it was awesome. Or good, even.

Stupid fuckin' double post.

Why double posting for no reason?

You wouldn't understand, Tae!