Attack on the Trolls

A troll RP. Appropriate for a party of 3-6.

In an anachronistic world of skyscrapers & wizards, one beast is both feared & revered above all others: The [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] They are sought out for their luxurious locks of hair, which go for high prices on the black market. Also, the gems in their stomachs grant wishes, but these wishes rarely turn out right.

Trolls live where it is dark, under bridges, in caves, & dungeons, where they lie in wait to do unspeakable things to humans. What things? I can't tell you, because they're unspeakable. Fucking read. Shit.

Your mission, should you choose to accept, is to join a party of 3-6 characters, infiltrate a troll's lair, & try not to die because you did something stupid or because your asshole team mates betrayed you.

Name: Go nuts.
Species: Go nuts.
Appearance: Go nuts.
Age: Go nuts.
Class & abilities: Go nuts.
Backstory: Go nuts.
Weapons: Go nuts.
Goal: Not completely sure I even expect anyone to use this field....
Other: Do I even have to say it, at this point?

DEATH: Characters should be replaced by which ever means is the funniest. Maybe they come back as vampires, with no explanations, or just sneak back into the RP wearing fake mustaches. I don't know. They can also be replaced with new characters, with no explanations given.

This is to be a Trolling RP in the same vein as High School of the Dead or Soul Society: New Live. I'm putting it up in Planning so that everyone can take a look at it & offer suggestions.

I love you so much right now.

Why the fuck not?

Fuck. Yes.

Since this has been in here for 4 days, I am punting it over to Make A Game.

Sounds like it can become hilarious! XD

Maybe I'll make a character for it. Perhaps.

I've started planning multiple...to say "arcs" would imply some sort of serious continuity. There is something deeply wrong with me.

An example was requested. I just want you all to know that you brought this upon yourselves.

Name: Seraph
Species: Old One
Appearance: An old man who wears mage robes & a pointy wizard hat. Has a Druidic magic staff that might actually be a stick & a Hello Kitty bag.
Age: Older than you. No exceptions.
Class & abilities: Black Mage. Casts various spells that alter the fabric of reality, but uncultured swine accuse of just being a mix of cheap parlor tricks & arson.
Backstory: His extensive life dates back to before the beginning of time, but fuck if he can remember any of it. What is known is that he was involuntarily committed to an insane asylum 5 years ago, but was let out recently due to budget cuts.
Weapons: His magic staff that might just be a stick, along with a rusty chef's knife, a purse Manly Satchel of Holding, which is enchanted to allow the user to pull out anything that he desires. Unfortunately, everything comes out broken.
Goal: Hard drugs.
Other: None.

Name: Paris
Species: Zombie Bimbo
Appearance: Despite being a zombie, Paris still wears excessive amounts of cheap make up, has impractically long red fake nails and has shoulder-length platinum blonde hair. Her entire body is rotten and green/yellow.
Age: ??
Class & abilities: Doesn't die when she is killed.
Backstory: Paris literally died of embarrassment when she turned up to prom in the exact same dress as her greatest rival- India. The two of them were buried on the same day. Some time later Paris was resurrected by a wizard to be a part of an evil immortal zombie horde, but the wizard had wrongly thought that they would be mindless savages. They demanded at least minimum wage to be in his horde, he refused, so they told him to fuck off and went their separate ways.
Weapons: Needles and sutures to put her bits back on mostly, attitude.
Goal: To be an actress.
Other: None.


Name: Count Bombastus Felch
Species: Vampire
Appearance: Tall pale guy, red eyes, wears a black cowl and cape over an expensive three-piece suit- all black, obviously.
Age: 30
Class & abilities: Vampire. Can turn into an entire colony of bats, see perfectly in the dark, run faster and hit harder than a human, possess animals and idiots, and can only be killed by the sea, the sun, or a stake through the heart.
Backstory: The Felch house of vampires has gone on for centuries, and now Bombastus Felch is the head of the family. He has a taste for dramatic acts of evil, and is criticised by other vampires for deliberately going out of his way to be a dick to the village people and end up bringing the law down on them.
Weapons: A steel cutlass and an antique musket pistol.
Goal: To dominate the whole world.
Other: None.

Name: Big Paulie
Species: Human
Appearance: Built like a bull with a receding black and grey hairline. He wears a jogging outfit and is rarely seen without a cigar in his mouth.
Age: 39
Class & abilities: Gangster. Abilities include pickpocketing, beating people to death and using pistols.
Backstory: Big Paulie was born into a small-time criminal family but ended up a close advisor to a Mafia capo. Due to uncertain circumstances he had to flee his home city and the Mafia about six months ago and move across the nation.
Weapons: A 9mm.
Goal: Cash money.
Other: None.

Is there anything that I WOULDN'T accept for this RP?

I also wanted to make a note that, if there is enough of a turn out, then I can always make more than 1 dungeon.

Neo Bahamut wrote:

Is there anything that I WOULDN'T accept for this RP?

How about a nymphomaniac, would you accept such a character? Because I just came up with one like that.

Name: Marie
Species: Demon
Appearance: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Age: Slightly younger than Seraph.
Class & abilities: All the basic demon stuff. Flight, fire manipulation, teleportation etc.  
Backstory: An ancient&powerful demon trapped in a mortal form by some asshole's curse. Unable to properly terrorize rubes, Marie's taken to just generally fucking shit up for people.
Weapons: N/A
Goal: To fuck shit up.
Other: Do I even have to say it, at this point?

Tsukuyomi wrote:

Neo Bahamut wrote:

Is there anything that I WOULDN'T accept for this RP?

How about a nymphomaniac, would you accept such a character? Because I just came up with one like that.

Depends. You can't actually describe sex acts or several forms of foreplay. So you may run into a problem there.

As long as I can say that my character fucked somebody's brains out or skullfucked their soul, I think it will suffice. Never had any plans to go into details about the sexual things anyway.

That would probably be fine.

The plan is to start this some time next weekend.

I REALLY don't like going against deadlines once I've announced them, but in light of the recent discoveries that (A) this is Easter Weekend & (B) Penn State clearly does not give a shit, I'm going to push starting this back until NEXT weekend. All of the projects I'm currently working on will be done by then & that should give people enough time to recover from the Horrorday Holiday.

Now, I do have at least 1 more assignment, plus final exams, but if I've done all of my calculations right, & the stars are in a favorable alignment, these should not be as big of a burden on my schedule. It has to be pretty bad before I feel like I can't even take the time to start a joke RP.

So I made a character.

Name: Count Kiken
Species: Elf-demon
Appearance: Icy blue eyes and white hair down to the waist. Dressed in a trench coat which is knee-long, under which a black corset and black hotpants is worn. For fotwear a pair of knee-high boots.
Age: Unknown but younger than Seraph and Marie.
Class & abilities: Dominatrix. Special attacks are fuck your brains out and skullfuck your soul. Heals quickly.
Backstory: Was found in the woods by a hunter and put in an orphanage where it was discovered that Kiken is a hermaphrodite. Around the time Kiken  entered puberty the sadistic personality had been noted and as soon as possible left the orphanage for a city where Kiken eventually got employed at a brothel, in short time acquiring the position dominatrix and later the title “count” (play on ‘cunt’) because of high levels of nymphomania. However, it all came to an end when customers begun getting their brains fucked out and their souls skullfucked. Yet again Kiken was off wandering.
Weapons: A cat o' nine tails
Goal: Fuck the world
Other: The penis work enough to perform a boner and Kiken got a vagina.

Does accepting that make me a bad person?

Neo Bahamut wrote:

Does accepting that make me a bad person?

I don't know. You told us to go nuts and so I did. Way better doing that here than at work.

I will probably start this after I get home.