Spam-Bombed

My site has been getting about three new members per day. The problem with that is that they all (perhaps with one or two exceptions) are only joining to advertise. One guy (apparently in Russia) posted five viagra ads in Void Meadow. After I sent him a warning, more and more accounts have been added that look like someone just had a seizure on the keyboard, just as with about half their e-mail addresses. Almost all are from such places as Finland, Iceland, and especially Russia, despite the fact that my site presently only has an English module. Well, they say so in their profiles, though the URLs of their sites (which almost all of them have) are in English. Most of them have occupations stated in their profiles. I recently got another ad in the Void Meadow about some website on making money from home. Of course, they all have different e-mail and IP addresses.

Why am I telling you this? Well, I need some answers.
1.) Is this definately a spam-bomb?
2.) How/why is my site being spam-bombed like this? Would any of you know the cause/how to fix it?
3.) Is there an easy way (I'm about as tech-savvy as a tuna can.) for these people to be tracked? How do I report this to phpBB, or do I not report to them at all?
4.) Are there any other measures that I can take?
5.) Is there any significance to the targeting of the Void Meadow? It's not even the top forum of the Universe of Houcm, and that universe is below the Important Stuff catagory, so it's not even like it's just the first thing that one comes to.

A joint conference between Tae, Harley, & I shows that we got nothin'.

All righty, then. ._.

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Why am I telling you this? Well, I need some answers.

Now there's a coincidence. I was just asking myself "Self, how can I show someone how brilliant I am today without working too hard?" I answered myself "Find an idiot in trouble." So I came here, AND HERE YOU ARE! It's like an answer to my unspoken prayer to a god I don't believe in but who helps me anyway!

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1.) Is this definately a spam-bomb?

Are you an idiot?

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2.) How/why is my site being spam-bombed like this? Would any of you know the cause/how to fix it?

The cause? Probably Google. So take them down, and the rest is easy. But I guess you're too much of a pussy to tackle a multibillion-dollar internet corporation, so we'll explore some other options.

1. You could set up a round-the-clock mod watch to ban them as they come. This is roughly akin to hunting lions with a flyswatter. And if you try this, let me watch.

2. Delete your site. Have you ever shot your dog to kill the ticks? If so, this is the solution for you.

3. Set up admin verification for the accounts. "But General," I hear you exclaiming, "They'll just trick me into letting them through!" Well, they're not real people. Spambombs are done entirely by bots, as far as I've ever been aware. And if you're stupid enough to get tricked by a bot, then even I can't help you.

4. #3 was the only serious suggestion I can give you. Unless you block whole countries from your site. Which I'm not even 100% positive you can do, and if you can, I have no idea how.

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3.) Is there an easy way (I'm about as tech-savvy as a tuna can.) for these people to be tracked? How do I report this to phpBB, or do I not report to them at all?

Don't bother tracking them. They're bots. Unless you've hit a goldmine of people with way too much time on their hands. But either way they'll have so many origin points that it's really not worth the bother.

As for reporting them, same response. Too many people doing it. Even if you get some out of the picture, there's an army right behind them.

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4.) Are there any other measures that I can take?

Your penis. 3 inches. Hey-o!

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5.) Is there any significance to the targeting of the Void Meadow? It's not even the top forum of the Universe of Houcm, and that universe is below the Important Stuff catagory, so it's not even like it's just the first thing that one comes to.

Google. The bots use Google to find random forums. They didn't travel your little rat-maze. They got a direct link. Either that or someone set them on you. Either way, doesn't matter. Set up admin validation for new accounts. If they're bots, that'll stop them.

Hahaha, this guy.

Wow. MD knows something other than how to write the perfect story about having sex with sandwiched.

I'm impressed.

Except he merely stated the obvious. To most.

And yet, nobody else posted it, and Noah clearly didn't know it. So I respectfully submit that you shove it up your ass.

I can't tell which of you has a point that's more retarded. Really, I'd suggest finding someone who knows what they're talking about & asking them for help.

Noah posts about something annoying happening on his forum. MD's annoying.

Clearly he's an expert on how to get rid of annoying things.

This logic is infalliable. I suppose you know how to get rid of virginity, then?

No, but he knows how to get rid of virgins. If he acts like himself long enough, they leave. This also works on sluts, people who have had semi-casual sex, animals, plants, and some inanimate objects.

Neo Bahamut wrote:

I can't tell which of you has a point that's more retarded. Really, I'd suggest finding someone who knows what they're talking about & asking them for help.

Someone he won't be finding here.

Tae, sometimes you have to just decide your attack was poorly thought out, 'kay? And when that's the case, continuing your idiocy only deepens the hole. At some point you just have to decide you can't salvage this situation, so you just leave the conversation and wait for people to forget.

That said, I hope you wait a long, long time to take that course of action. You're adorable when you're floundering like this.

I love it when you go full retard.

It's highly unlikely he'll find the help he needs here. And no, you weren't that helpful, don't be butthurt.

Taegan wrote:

I love it when you go full retard.

Really? You're gonna take my comment about you being adorable, reword it slightly, turn it around on me, and hope I won't notice? Jesus. We all expect you to be an idiot at your age, but really, have a tiny bit of dignity.

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It's highly unlikely he'll find the help he needs here.

Except he did.

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And no, you weren't that helpful, don't be butthurt.

Well, I gave him the easiest possible solution to his problem. Seems like maybe I helped a little.

General Derangement wrote:

Really? You're gonna take my comment about you being adorable, reword it slightly, turn it around on me, and hope I won't notice? Jesus. We all expect you to be an idiot at your age, but really, have a tiny bit of dignity.

Posted it. Hoping you won't notice. This guy. Also, mighty mad.

GD wrote:

Except he did.

Did he? I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to delete his forums, and mass banning is what he had been doing all along.

GD wrote:

Well, I gave him the easiest possible solution to his problem. Seems like maybe I helped a little.

Easy isn't usually a synonym of useful.

Not really, GD. I already knew that I could set-up admin verification OR user verification, both of which would stop most bots, but I have reason to believe that most, if not all of the spammers are just a few humans posting for several advertisements. Frankly, it was more helpful of the others to at least openly admit that they have nothing.

@Tae: Actually, not a whole lot of them have actually posted spam (although I expect many of the newer members to do so at some point, but must be sure), so I've only banned a few. However, that's not really relevant to your present point, and you're right that banning has been my solution thus far.

Noah wrote:

Not really, GD. I already knew that I could set-up admin verification OR user verification, both of which would stop most bots, but I have reason to believe that most, if not all of the spammers are just a few humans posting for several advertisements. Frankly, it was more helpful of the others to at least openly admit that they have nothing.

@Tae: Actually, not a whole lot of them have actually posted spam (although I expect many of the newer members to do so at some point, but must be sure), so I've only banned a few. However, that's not really relevant to your present point, and you're right that banning has been my solution thus far.

Yeah, I don't really know how to help, so... Google's your friend, I guess. I dunno what hosting site your board is in, but they must have help forums. Have you tried that?

phpBB, and yeah, I've been looking around its knowledge board. A lot of stuff wasn't very helpful, but I did learn a couple tricks to avoid automatic registrations, to the basic concept of 'If you're a human, select something different from the default to register. If you're a bot, you won't know what the fuck I'm saying, so you'll have the default, which will reject your registration.'
I didn't want to do so, but I think that I'm gonna' have to take the Website box out of user profiles, too. I think that many of these people are registering only so that their links can be indexed everywhere, so they don't actually have to post something.
Oh, for the record, one reason that I believe many of these spammers to be human is that I'm still getting new (suspected-to-become-) spammers, despite said registration tricks.

Well, if they're human then you're fucked. Unless you only let in people you know. There's not really any way to have a registration free-for-all and keep out the bastards. If there was a way to do that, then I wouldn't be here, now would I?

You wouldn't be here if you sucked enough &/or I gave enough fucks to get rid of you.

Yeah, but there's not a whole fucking lot of me, and I don't care enough to make another account if you ban me. So maybe it wasn't an accurate comparison.

Anyway, lemme break this down into very simple terms for our little pal, Noah. And also Taegan, who is sure to come back and tell me I don't know what I'm talking about.

1. If they're bots, doing what I said is your answer. Yes, it's not a high-tech fancy-pants something-something answer, but you said you didn't want high-tech. That's your simplest answer, and it'll work. On bots. There are two reasons I didn't give you a more complicated solution:

A: You told me not to.
B: You're not a chick. I have no reason to impress you.

A third reason was added to the list shortly afterward. C: You're a pompous little jackoff.

2. If they're humans, you've got one option to keep them out: Make your membership process more selective. Only let people in if you know them or one of your peeps can vouch for them. And if you want another option, I guess you could go for magic. That tends to solve things real good in movies and stuff.

3. Third way to tell you something while simultaneously making fun of you. I don't know. Make something up.

I like this post. Harley, give the man one of your ridiculous images, as a token of appreciation.