TERROR

Waah, animals.

Animals are more dangerous that people in Australia. At least you can fucking beat up a bogan without being pumped full of enough poison to kill an ox.

I have animals too, ya pansy.

Fuck, there's a domestic terrorist living in my house & eating my tuna fish.

Cats are dangerous.

There is murder in their hearts, & blood on their paws, without exception.

Even kittens?

Especially kittens, they use their cuteness to get close, only to dig their still needle sharp claws into your everything.

ESPECIALLY kittens

Edit: fucking ninja'd

I already covered this, Seraph.

Spider with snake fangs>Kitten with anger issues.

The kitten would kill the spider, then leave its poison-leaking body in your shoe.

Or in front of your door as a warning.

Then die about 20 minutes later as it has just been bitten by the funnel web spider.

Except it wouldn't have been bitten, because it assassinated the spider.

I see now where Kyoujin & Luna get it.

Snicker.

Funny thing is, that's a load of crap.

You clearly know fucking nothing about cats.

It actually isn't. The house cat kills more, pound for pound, than any other animal simply because, unlike other animals, it kills for fun. They are experts at killing bugs, birds, rodents, and, if big enough, other cats and small dogs.

I know this. They are extreme hunters, however in an environment favoured by a funnel web spider (like say, a shady garage or a cramped laundry), the domestic cat has less of a chance.
This is mostly because not only are funnel webs fast, but they become battle-ready whenever they find a possible threat (meaning an ant could walk into their garage and they'll get all up in it's shit) so when the cat attacks it the chances are that out from the dark little corner a pair of fangs some snakes would envy are going to sink through those paw pads and inject a shit ton on venom.
I've seen a cat bitten by a white tail and it wasn't pretty. I don't fancy the chances of a domestic cat vs. funnel web.

Idiot, cats stealth kill for a living, smell out their prey, can see in the dark, & oh yeah, it's his house.

The spider isn't in its own environment, it's in the fucking cat's.

Let's not forget that ant he mentioned.

The ant goes gets some buddies, they swarm and kill the spider then drag it back to the colony.

By "some," we of course mean at least a thousand.

Even cats don't fuck with ants.

Ants fucking hate cats.

Ants hate everything.

Smug bastards, hiding in their tunnels probably plotting to take over the world.

By "probably" you of course mean currently.

They have a particular disdain for cats.