Digital Mayhem

*Tae and Razz pile up the wood and step away from it.*

Tae: <BlackAgumon, if you will.>

Hawkmon: <What is his green fire kills us all?>

Tae: <I'm pretty sure it's just fire.>

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Allina: <That's great and all, but could you guys maybe think of coming to save me?!>

*She shouts at the TV and then runs to hug the ExTyrannomon plushie.*

Allina: <I'm going to die.>

A<My fire is purple, you color blind jackass.>

*He blasts it anyway.*

B<Thanks, Seadramon. But more importantly, we need to stop that armada. Right, Sal?>
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"Is...is something else wrong?"

*Salamon lies down and puts her paws over her ears, groaning.*

Salamon:<Make him stop.>

*The kindling erupts in purple flames which soon fade normal flame colors much like they did at the beginning.*

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"It's just... you still seem unhappy. I want to fix that, but I don't know how."

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Mushroomon:<Especially if what you're cuddling is woken up.>

*She widens her eyes in horror, stumbles back, and rolls backwards a way.*

Allina: <Jesus Christ, what!?>

=====

Hawkmon: <I'm pretty sure I said purple.>

Tae: <You said green.>

Hawkmon: <No, I didn't. I'm going to have Betamon and his Spanish Armada from Mars or whatever kill you.>

E"Don't worry about that. We have to get back to the others."

*Euryale takes a step.*

E"In retrospect, we really shouldn't have sent our partners away."
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<The Spanish Armada from Mars! And they are our enemies! They came here to take all of our babes & make milkshakes out of their hair care products, which they will then sell back to us for a profit!>

Zarek:<Oh dear, that is quite serious.>

[I wonder how Seadramon put up with him.]

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"But..."

[No, I said I wasn't going to worry so much.]

*She laughs nervously then takes Euryale's hand rather than her arm or offer her the leash hanging from her neck.*

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Mushroomon:<It's not just here because the corner was empty. It disposes of the playmates that Puppetmon gets bored with or make him too angry. That is unless Puppetmon doesn't dispose of them himself.>

Allina: <Why didn't you tell me this ear--They're leaving. Why are they leaving!?>

*She crawls over to the TV.*

Allina: <Wait! Don't go! Dammit! ... What if they intend to leave me to rot in here? I'm going to be eaten by a giant pink dinosaur plushie.>

=====

Hawkmon: <Digimon have no hair and I'm pretty sure most human babies have very little hair.>

Tae: <Babes.>

Hawkmon: <What.>

Tae: <I-It's not important.>

*He glances at Hitomi then feels mighty stupid and crawls over to the fire.*

*She clutches Taiyo's hand tightly as they begin their merry stroll through the death forest.*
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B<You. Have. No. Idea. Forget Puppetmon, he's just a puppet to them!>

A<And now you know both what we have to deal with when he rants AND when you make a godawful pun.>

*Hitomi blinks twice unsure what the two are going on about before joining him by the fire.*

Zarek:<I have no control over what he does.>

*He skewers a fish on a stick and pokes the stick into the ground near the fire. A dorado Razz should be familiar with begins flopping around.*

Dorado:<Ass...hole.>

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Mushroomon:<Didn't seem important at the time.>

"He's only doing that because he heard Salamon complaining about it. Idiots."

A<It occurs to me, how long will Taiyo & Euryale need to be on their own?>

*Razz turns away from the fish. Feeling warmer and less nervous, Tae smiles to Hitomi and then closes his eyes.*

[We probably shouldn't rest for very long.]

=====

Allina: <Yes, you've made very clear you're stupid. (Ungrateful hallucinogenic drug.)>

*She goes to sit by the TV.*

*The dorado lets out one last gasp before it dies. Salamon proceeds to drag it near the fire.*

BlackGabumon:<I don't know...>

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*Against her will, Allina's right hand raises and she slaps herself across the face.*

Floramon:<Oh no, Puppetmon's made a doll of you.>

A<Hey, I have an idea. What if we Biomerged? Then wouldn't they end up here?>

Allina: <Please don't tell me he made a voodoo puppet thing of me. This is like a bad horror movie. (I hate horror movies.)>

Zarek:<Not while they're not present and accounted for.>

*Zarek takes the fish he stuck in the ground near the fire and blows on it before taking a bite. At that moment, Euryale & Taiyo arrive.*

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*She slaps herself again.*

Mushroomon:<You, me, Floramon, possibly your friends. It would seem he's in a good mood or he just hates you.>

A<That's the point, idiot, we biomerge & one of us should end up where the other is.>

E"Our plan is to camp out? Don't tell me who the genius who came up with that is. I already know."

Tae: <BlackGabumon, think we can go check on Allina?>

*Hawkmon motions BlackAgumon to approach.*

Zarek:<I'd lend you my cabin, but it doesn't exist. And if you're so opposed to the new and terrifying idea of sleeping outside, there's a nice bus in the middle of the lake.>

BlackGabumon:<Uh...>

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*Blood trickles down Allina's chin and the slaps become less consistent and weaker till' they just stop.*

E"Not the point, but I guess I shouldn't have expected you to understand things that go on around you!"

*Euryale raises her arms in the air, then points back the way they came.*

E"We need to get in that castle as soon as possible before Allina winds up dead! I'm not sure what moronic stuff goes on here, but when humans die, it's kind of permanent, in case you were unaware!"

*She keeps gesturing towards Zarek.*

*Hawkmon motions BlackAgumon to approach again.*

*Taiyo stands by as she's shaken about and her arm raised while Euryale's seizuring about.*

Zarek:<I was unaware as I have never heard of a human dying in the Digital World.>

*BlackGabumon sits by the fire and goes to work frying up his own fish.*

Zarek:<Do you know what happens when one fights while not at the top of their game or in the right state of mind? The odds of them succeeding go down. While rescuing Allina is top priority how do you think that'll go while being hindered by hunger, exhaustion or whatever?>

Allina: <My face hurts... I'm going to kill that infested toy.>

=====

Tae: <What about Yuhei?!>

*Black Agumon stays right the fuck where he is while giving Hakmon this face.*

E"So, what, you want us to eat, sing, & sleep for 8 hours? We don't have that kind of time! For that matter, why didn't you jackasses tell us you knew where Puppetmon's manor was? Or go with us in the first place?"
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~In Euryale's Mind~

E"I'm so mad, I could...I could...."

*BlackAgumon steps in front of her. With an afro.*

A<I'll take care of this!>

*Digivolving to Skull Greymon, still with an afro, he eats Zarek's head off. Taiyo & Tsune approach, both naked.*

Taiyo<Rejoice, for the beast is dead! Let us celebrate with weird sex acts!>

Tsune<Me too?>

E"Of course, Tsune!"

Tsune<Yay!>
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~In Reality~

*Euryale was trembling in a ragecoma & gripping Taiyo's hand too hard.*

Zarek:<I know nothing about a Yuhei. Now then, eating will do away with that pesky hunger which as you may have learned from experience, can halt Digivolution. Getting your full eight hours is purely wishful thinking, but sleep will help bring you all up to snuff. And no singing.>

*Taiyo cringes and shuts her eyes trying not to whimper or anything of the sort.*

*Betamon & Black Agumon whisper to each other.*

A<Di-di-di. Digimon. Di-di-di. Digi-mon, Digital Monsters, Digimon are the-->

B<THIS IS THE TALE! OF CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW! PIRATE SO BRAVE! ON THE SEVEN SEAS!>

A<What? Yeah, that was kind of weird, but we're the champions of the Digital World!>

B<A MYSTICAL QUEST! ON THE ISLE OF TORTUGA! RAVEN LOCKS SWAY ON THE OCEAN BREEZE!>

A<Seriously, what are you doing?>

B<THEN YOU CAN CALL ME SCARFACE, SNORTIN' MOUNTAINS OF COCAIN!>

E"Shut up!"

*Euryale takes off her leg bracers, releasing Taiyo's hand, & throws one at each of those morons' heads.*