Old Ones Return (VI)

*As prophesied long ago, the Cat Laser misses everything wildly, because it wasn't aimed. Not wanting their asses to be blown up, Greymon exhales a stream of flames at the attacks. Nonetheless, the D-Power shields shake from the shockwaves of the explosions.*

A<I think we should just get out of here! By the time we punch through, we'll be too weak to fight Jupitermon!>

E"We can't just IGNORE these jerks! Besides, can we even get away from them?"

A<Sure, if we can get around the storm, we can hide in the mountains.>

*As they're idly chatting, another bombardment is fired at them.*
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Baihumon<Just that they are safe, & will be returning to us as soon as possible!>

Ts"Maybe we should just go up there."

*So she & Gomamon head up.*
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T"Wait just a second: How did we defeat MaloMyotismon, again?"

Hideki<Do we really need to talk about that right now?>

D<We destroyed him too, didn't we?>

T"That's not how I remember it."

Hitomi<But it's normal for people to disagree on the details.>

*She closes her eyes, sighs, & shakes her head.*

T"Not on whether he was killed or turned into an angel."

*Opening her eyes, she looks at LadyDevimon.*

T"We don't agree on how he was defeated because he was never defeated. Think back, what do you remember fro the Dark Area?"

*LadyDevimon scratches her head.*

D<Well...there was a Phascomon who was a big jerk, we met Mervamon, we spied on Bagramon & MaloMyotismon...oh, & then this big light came out of the Monitamon!>

T"When, specifically?"

*Lady Devimon scrunches up her eyes. The other guests move to physically move them apart, but she snaps her eyes open, knocks Renamon, Taiyo, Euryale, Agumon, Lyra, & Kotemon away with her wings, then blasts darkness behind Thiera, causing Hitomi, Gatomon, Hideki, Cyberdramon, Azuma, & Angemon to simply fade out of existence.*

D<I know what's going on now! Myotismon has hypnotic abilities!>

*And so the rest of the guests fade away, followed by the house, & finally the cake, leaving them floating in the darkness. The joy is replaced by profound feelings of despair, weakness, & hunger as Myotismon's laughter echoes all around them. LadyDevimon flies over to draw Thiera into a protective embrace.*

It would've missed anyways even though it should go without saying it's being directed at the oncoming enemies.

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Taiyo: "What about the others?"

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The collective voice of the audience begins to fade out as the lights audibly shut off one by one until he stands alone under a pale blue spotlight.

A spotlight like the sun before him comes to life, Tsune standing beneath it.

Tsune: "Your own little fantasy and you can't even be happy in it. How pathetic is that?"

Hideki: "It's not real. It was never real. This could never happen."

Tsune: "Because it's a fantasy, stupid. It doesn't matter if it could happen in reality because in this scenario, you can make anything happen."

Hideki: "I can't make you go away."

Tsune: "What was that?"

Hideki: "I can't make you go away! In fiction or reality, you're there haunting me like a fucking wraith. If it's not me you're taking jabs at, it's Monodramon. Why don't you just go away?"

Tsune: "Even in your dreams, you can't make what you want possible. You'd never speak like that to me in reality. And where's that excuse for a lizard you call a partner? Off looking for a fight because you can't control it?"

Out of sight, something moves. And hisses, sucking in the stale air.

Hideki: "Cyberdramon?"

Four gleaming red eyes untouched by love, or joy, or sorrow pierce the surrounding darkness, glaring, hating.

From the darkness comes Devidramon, dragging Hideki out from the light of the full moon, the last thing he remembers is the monster's breath, hot with the taste of fallen foes, dead things, damned things.

Tsune: "Loser."

*As Lyra watches, the digimon on the beach begin to fade and are replaced with more mundane things. Frightened, Kotemon runs towards Lyra, only to fall and be pulled out by the waves. Lyra tries to stand but is pushed back down by the boy who was once Hideki and now appears to be someone she knew from school*

Boy:<Uh, Lyra, there's nothing there.>

*She looks around but can't see any of the other tamers, only people from before she met Kotemon. Lyra shoves off the boy, who looks taken aback*

<Jeez, it's a nice day and you're here with me. Why are you ruining that?>

Lyra:<Kotemon...he needs me...>

*The boy looks at her like one would if they mentioned their pet unicorn*

Boy:<Like...the digimon? Maybe you should move into the shade or something. You want to be in top shape for the game later.>
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Dianamon:<Then let's go!>

*She picks up everyone but the champion digimon and starts flying around the storm*

*Greymon also takes off with his Hyper Wings, but of course the wind immediately catches them & starts swirling them around. Greymon grabs Dianamon's hand, hoping that their combined wing power can help them escape from the storm. But he's not focusing on the lightning, so there's a huge flash & they're thrown away to parts unknown. When they come to, it's to the sight of an Orochimon swaying back & forth, accompanied by some Gekomon, Agumon, Gabumon, Palmon--I might just be naming Digimon from the 1st series--anyway, they're all badly singing something or other really off-key. The Tamers also feel strangely wet, & they realize why when a strange purple arm with a huge green hand pours an enormous jug of red liquid all over their faces. Euryale sits up, coughing & trying to rub the fluid out of her eyes.*

E"Agh, what the--ack--Hell? Is this--wine?"

*Agumon wipes his face off & starts licking his claws. The Digimon that were formerly champion or higher have now reverted to Rookie, while the rest are In Training.*
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*Betsumon is now dressed as a Gekomon & scrubs the cannons sensuously while staring at Cameron with its shit-eating grin.*

Baihumon<I am sorry, but I have received no word from them.>

Ts"Not sure if we told you, but we split up to fight different battles. Euryale's off in the west somewhere near where Venusmon used to live."

*Vademon approaches them when they emerge.*

Vademon<We have decided to concede an acre of land for each computer that we receive.>
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*Myotismon's big, purple lips appear in thin air.*

Myotismon<Do you honestly believe that the likes of YOU can protect her from ME?>

*The phantom Myotismouth inhales, pulling Thiera from LadyDevimon's grasp. She tries to fly after her, but it's like she's trying to move through molasses.*

D<Thiera!>

*As she reaches out, Myotismon bites down. LadyDevimon closes her eyes & grabs her head.*

D<It's not real! It's not real! It's not real!>

Myotismon<It doesn't matter if it's a nightmare if you just can't wake up from it. Do you think it's true what they say? That you can't feel pain or die in your dreams?>

*DemiDevimon screams as she's beset upon on all sides by Crimson Lightning. Myotismon laughs ever louder.*

D<Thiera, please help me!>

*Myotismon's mouth gasps & withdraws as LadyDevimon explodes into light, emerging as Ophanimon.*

<"We WILL get back to the real world! And we WILL destroy you!">

Myotismon<Ha! Nightmare-->

*She throws a light javelin down Myotismon's throat. His yell fades into a rattle as it's ripped apart. The darkness fades with him & Thiera & DemiDevimon awaken, slumped over on the ground. They look around to see what's going on. The Hi-Vision Monitamon is missing & they can hear the faint sounds of explosions as the cavern shakes & dust falls from the ceiling.*

Lyra:<Just...let me go!>

*The boy backs away, holding his arms up in surrender while Lyra stands up and begins running towards the water*

Boy:<There you go ruining everything! That's just like you, isn't it?>

*After what seems like an eternity, Lyra finally reaches the waves  and begins searching on her hands and knees. She grabs onto what turns out to be Kotemon's sword, only to get jerked under. Although she tries to struggle, Lyra can't escape*

Why do you have to go and ruin everything?

*Bubbles pour out of Lyra's mouth in a wordless scream which only ends when Kotemon appears beside her and grabs Lyra's hand*

Kotemon:<Don't worry! I've never left your side! This isn't real!>


*He shakes Lyra, seemingly unaffected by the physics of being underwater. Lyra opens her eyes and grips his hand. In a flash of light, Crusadermon flies out of the water, however the beach is gone, replaced by a void. The boy from before floats in the center. Crusadermon takes one look at him, then flies towards him and cuts the boy in half, and in a brilliant flash the pair are back in the hall*
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*Kylie and Lunamon start coughing and attempting to get the stuff out of their faces*

Lunamon:<What happened?>
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*Cameron looks from Getsumon to Biyomon, starting to freak out a little*

Salamon shakes herself off while Hitomi tries to wipe the stuff off, quite frazzled.

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Hideki is tossing and turning, like he's having a bad dream rather than living one.

Crowd<We don't know, why don't you tell us?! Hahahahaha!>

E"You're all drunk, aren't you?"

*Behind her, Bacchusmon's enormous stomach mouth opens & a giant tongue presses into her from behind, licking her back & hair. Her whole body tenses up, her eyes widen, & she looks like she may vomit. Globs of spittle can now be seen glistening all over her & her messed-up hair is now frozen in place, gooey cowlicks sticking out at all angles.*

Bacchusmon<I prefer to call it merry!>
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*DemiDevimon sits up while Thiera heads over to shake Hideki.*

D<So you 2 woke up too. Any idea what's going on?>

T"Please, calm down, it's just an illusion! Please wake up!"
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Bastemon<I suppose we can accept those terms.>

*She & Ancient Mermaimon reluctantly shake on it.*

Ts"So does that mean we're free to go?"

Bastemon<I can take you wherever you want to go.>

Ancient Mermaimon<We're staying here. And no, you may not have a raft.>

Baihumon<I can make travel arrangements, the question is where you wish to go.>

Taiyo: "I want to see Euryale."

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Salamon: "It's gross is what it is."

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Hideki mumbles something before his eyes snap open and he backs away from Thiera, frightened.

*Lunamon and Kylie slowly turn around, eyes wide. Kylie takes out her digivice and scans the newcomer*

<Bacchusmon...hey, you're a member of the Olympus 12 like Venusmon, aren't you?>
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Cameron:<Away from that guy!>

*He gestures at Betsumon*
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*Lyra moves to grab Hideki's hand while Kotemom continues to hug her*

<It was a bad dream. We all had one but it's over now.>

T"MaloMyotismon hypnotized us through the Hi-Vision Monitamon."

*DemiDevimon waddles over to where it once was & looks up.*

D<Yeah, but where is it? And what's going on now?>

T"Most likely a battle. We should find Mervamon, & quickly!"
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Bacchus<Aww, don't be like that!>

*He pats Salamon, pressing her into the ground.*

Bacchus<Thassright! On our way to see her for grapes, s'amatter'o'fact!>

*Agumon scratches his head as Euryale stops wringing her hair out.*

A<Sorry, but...she's dead.>

Bacchus<BWAHAHAAHAHA! Thassagoodone!>

*He pats Agumon on the back, knocking him right over.*
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Baihumon<I shall return shortly.>

*And so he leaps across the sea, a jump with enough force to send waves pushing the boat, & they can barely see him land on another island. As Vademon slithers back under the deck, a Mermaimon slithers up to Taiyo, saluting her.*

Mermaimon 3<I wish you good luck & a safe journey! If the Captain were here today, I'm sure she would be proud.>

AM<You were her first mate. You should get used to calling yourself Captain now that I will be busy overseeing the construction of my new palace, as well as the memorial to Lord Neptunemon.>

Taiyo: "Um...thanks."

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Salamon: "Easy, you big lummox!"

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Hideki has no idea why this girl is trying to touch on him.

Hideki: "It never ends."

Monodramon slowly stirs and wakes up.

Kylie:<She died to save us and her followers.>
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*Cameron keeps looking over his shoulder, afraid of surprise rape*
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*Lyra and Kotemon run out towards the throne room*

Bacchus<...BWAHAHAHAHAHA! IT'S EVEN FUNNIER THE SECOND TIME!>

E"Do you seriously not know what's going on right now!?"

Bacchus<PROB'LY NOT! We travel ALL OVER the Digital World!>

*This time he knocks Euryale down. What they didn't realize before is that it's actually night time, & the group is illuminated by a large bonfire slightly to the north.*
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*Of course Betsumon is still staring.*

Mermaimon 3<You mean to say, "Thank you, Captain," but that's okay, everyone has to learn.>

*Baihumon leaps back over. In his mouth is a raft, which he drops on the floor.*

Baihu<I can provide only the barest of vessels. You shall have to attend to navigation & defense for yourselves.>

Mermaimon 3<I wish I could spare some tools for you, but we need all that we can get.>

Ts"Eh, the D-Powers should be able to handle most of it."
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*As far as they know, there is no throne room. Instead, she plows into Minervamon, knocking them both over. She leaps back to her feet, raising her sword & shield.*

Minerva<You're finally up! 'Bout time, you lazy bums! Can't you see we're in trouble?!>

Kylie:<The digital world is under attack by an evil human named Kurata. He's so strong the whole digital world is in danger!>
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Lyra:<We were in a trance from MaloMyotismon!>

*She and Kotemon biomerge*
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Biyomon:<Thank you for everything, Lady and Captain!>

Cameron:<(Let's go already!)>

Monodramon looks worried about Hideki, whatever they saw being much more pleasant than whatever he saw. No one gives a fuck.

Captain<You are all very welcome.>

*The New Captain Mermaimon points to Biyomon.*

Captain<You see that? You could all learn a thing or 2 about respect for your superiors from him.>

Ts"Whatever. Can we just go now?"

*Gomamon hops into the water, Digivolving to hold the raft in place with his jowls.*
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Bacchus<...Went right over my head. Also sounds boring! Have a drink, dance, loosen up a bit!>

*He withdraws another jug from his back & pours more wine over them. Euryale immediately sets to trying to get it out of her hair.*

E"Look, we need to get into Jupitermon's city, can you just point us to someone who's actually USEFUL!?"

Bacchus<Well...I can point you to a friend of mine...if you all have a drink with me!>
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Impmon<Glad you're okay after all...Big Guy...lemme take you to your partner....>

*DemiDevimon looks over to Impmon, who is all curled up & smiling. She flies over & rouses him.*

D<So what were YOU dreaming about?>

*He sits up, rubbing his eyes.*

Impmon<Uh...I don't wanna talk about it....>

T"What's happening?"

Minerva<I just told you, we're in trouble!>

*She starts running up the path to the surface. Thiera & Impmon follow, DemiDevimon flying along.*

T"Yes, but can you please be more specific?"

Minerva<Bagramon sent a bunch of goons to attack us, then MaloMyotismon & HIS goons started blasting us from the sky!>

T"Where is Mervamon?"

Minerva<She killed some human, told me to come guard you, then started fighting Zanbamon!>

*Crusadermon flies along side them*

<Can you describe said human?>
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*Everyone gets on the raft, Biyomon waving goodbye and Cameron hunched in a ball*
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Lunamon:<I'll drink with you if it'll get us into the city.>

*Kylie mutters something and stares at the ground*

Being a teetotaler, Hitomi ain't having any of that shit.

Salamon: "Why is this such a hassle?!"

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Gettin' on a raft, Renamon being uneasy as fuck with it.

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Hideki and Monodramon follow.

*Euryale pets the dog.*

"Just go with it, it could get us something we could use."

Bacchus<Fantastic news!>

*Orochimon starts pouring drinks & the various Rookie Digimon rush forward to hand them out.*
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Minerva<Nope!>

T"That obviously refers to Netzach, but we have important news about him that Mervamon should know."

Minerva<What's she need to know? Guy's dead!>

T"Just--trust me, can you take us to her?"

Minerva<That's the plan! Gonna be hard to get around the other beasties, though!>

*When they reach the surface, they see why the tunnel hasn't collapsed yet. A fortification has been cobbled together out of stone & logs, behind which Ogremon wait, whacking blasts of darkness away. However, this is quickly eroding their clubs, and many have resorted to using logs. All available flying Digimon appear to be in the sky.*

Minerva<Mervamon should be down there!>

*She points down the hill, past Musyamon ducking through the trees, trading blasts with Digitamamon & Tapirmon. Every so often an immense blast of darkness descends, landing on a group of combatants & obliterating them & knocking trees over, leaving behind only a crater.*
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*On a raft, sailing through the sea at night. Ikkakumon has since de-digivolved & hopped aboard, leaving Marching Fishes to do the work.*

Ts"Okay, so did anyone think of what we're going to do if we run into Kurata's friends?"

Azuma: "Fight or run. Same thing we always do."

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Monodramon growls at the sights and sounds of battle, their own dreams turned to nightmares.

*Crusadermon moves in the appointed direction*
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Cameron:<As long as we have the strength we could take out a few.>
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*Lunamon sips hers, while Kylie just stares into hers*

Kylie:<Thanks...>

*Bastemon, sits in the center with her claws dug into the raft, her back bent, & her hair standing on end. She looks over to Cameron & kind of hisses as she talks.*

Baste<Gonna-hhh--be more than that! After hhhe took out Venusmon, Kurata swooped in & built a hhhuge base!>
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*The Musyamon apparently realize this is out of their league, as they fall back. Those too slow, usually because they're pinned down by blasts of darkness from their opponents, are slashed apart & absorbed by Minervamon, who skips across the battlefield & swings her sword as if she were catching butterflies.*

Minerva<Lalalalala!>

*As they near the bottom of the hill, they see Zanbamon rounding up the retreating Musyamon. He points to the catacombs with his larger sword.*

Zanba<CHARGE!>

*They can also see several Digimon retreat from the sky, GranDracmon & Mephistomon heading them.*

Th"Why are they leaving?"

D<'Cause they're under attack. Probably Jupitermon.>

*She points to the castle off in the distance, which is being bombarded by Blimpmon as ground forces cluster around the moat.*

Impmon<'Kay, but where's Mervamon?>

Th"I don't know, but I think we have bigger problems! Barbamon's attacking!"

*She points to the sky, where Barbamon blasts them with a stream of dark fire.*
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Bacchus<C'MON, DRINKUP!>

E"(He's really drunk, you can probably just fake it.)"

*She herself takes a swig, & gets knocked down again, spilling her drink.*

Bacchus<ATTAGIRL! GET 'ER ANOTHER!>

*A Gotsumon shambles over to do just that. Agumon takes a small sip, then his face scrunches up like he just ate a prune.*

Azuma: "So we have to visit that at some point, I take it?"

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She fakes it all right. It's not very convincing, the smell alone enough to churn her stomach. Her views on red wine may reflect my own.

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Monodramon Digivolves, Cyberdramon grabbing Hideki and taking to the sky.

*Kylie starts faking it as well, followed by Lunamon who realized how bad the stuff tastes*
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*Crusadermon flies up, avoiding the fire, then uses Spiral Masquerade on Barbamon*
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Biyomon:<We might want to put that next on our agenda.>

*Minervamon spins around, creating a tornado with her sword. Because Barbamon's attacks are boring & he was struck by 2 Megas, he goes down surprisingly easy. The clouds swirl & glow as a dimensional portal opens. Bagramon's hand reaches out & begins "picking up" data, including Barbamon's.*

Th"Can we really fight that?"

D<I think so. I feel my strength coming back. That nap MaloMyotismon forced us into must have rejuvenated us.>

Th"I assume that this was an unintended side-effect, & not part of his plan."

D<Speculate later, the Musyamon are charging!>

*She Digivolves to Lady Devimon & lets loose with eye lasers. Impmon Warp Digivolves to Beelzemon & starts shooting. Mervamon flips forward, slashing the ground & causing many of the Musyamon to fall into a fissure. All the while, Bagramon collects data.*
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Baste<Hhh--I was saying we should avoid it!>

G<If we defeat them, it shouldn't matter how many bases they have, right?>

Ts"Maybe."

*Renamon starts getting tired. As she does so, in the real world, static starts to creep into the signal.*
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*Euryale sits up, dusting herself off. She then pushes away the cup that is shoved into her face.*

E"Okay, we drank with you, now tell us what you promised!"

Bacchus<AW, C'MON, HAVE A BIT MORE!>

E"We had a deal!"

Baachus<OKAY, OKAY! SHEESH! Awright, Ceresmon may be able t'elp ya. Jes' keep goin' we--hic--wes' 'till ya see the rainin' rocks.>