RP Topic I Have No Clever Name For

"I'd like to hear this "complicated story" Kira didn't trust anybody who back stabbed him like Noah had, whatever their intentions had been.

Kite: <Oh, shut up already. Noah, take me there, will ya?>

Noct shrugged, "There is also a case to be made that killing every potential enemy will leave you with problems as well." Noct smiled, "Then again, I'm not exactly the best person to ask. I've only been fighting hollows and such for a few years. Still," Noct continued, "I like my way of thinking. It involves less work."

--

Mortal lets out an agitated sigh, "Fucking ninjas..." She said pulling free her sword and tossing it into the air, "Rumble, Gran Lagarto." Her ressurrecion complete, Mortal looked around at the ninjas, "You know what, ninjas can't catch you if you're a goddamn dragon!" With that she swung her arm at a good portion of the ninjas, missing all of them, the dragon arm that mirrored her own had a much better hitting average though.

*This still leaves about half of them, but they find that their claws can't penatrate Mortal's Hierro.*
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*Noah starts looking around at various rocky outcroppings. He finally settles on one about 50 feet away from their landing position, pointing at it.*

"I found it. It's a tight squeeze, but it's a lot larger once you get inside the main chamber."
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*No one speaks again until about halfway through the movie.*

E"(Why do they always make these things so long? I have to go to the bathroom, but I don't want to miss anything!)"

L"Like anyone's gonna say anything if you pee yourself."

Noct continued looking at the movie, "I'll say something. Go to the restroom, I'll fill you in if you miss anything important."

--

"What happened, can't scratch little ol' me?" She said before laughing. With another quick swipe, Mortal takes out the rest of the pests. "Now to get the messenger ninja." She said casually. Mortal took a step, or tried to, but fell flat on her face due to the thorns, "Son of a fucking dick muncher." She groaned, pushing herself back up and slicing the thorns off of her. "Now, back to killing that ninja." She said looking for him.

"Whatever." Kira decides, for the sake of story progression, to do whatever Noah was telling them to do.

*Euryale goes to the bathroom & naturally a fight scene, a romance scene, & a big reveal have passed by the time she gets back.*
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*A woman appears before Mortal. She has short, black hair with 2 long tail thingies with rings at the end, a haori over a stealth force uniform, a sword at the back of her waist, & nothing to speak of above said waist.*

<He's busy right now. But I'd be more than happy to kill you.>
===============================================
*Right now, Noah's just meditating.*

OOC: This is really filler. Time to post whatever you feel is necessary character development before I can timeskip.

Kira wondered over to the cave and leant against the wall, sighing and closing his eyes to recollect himself.

This is all so... wrong... a Quincy appears and now the Sereitei is under attack.... the Senkaimon is blocked and now Noah is going on about gaining Bankai NOW... Something is wrong. Damn it.

He opened his eyes and and found a sunlit spot to sit, placed his Zanpakuto on the ground before him and sat cross legged.
"Tentei...."
He was going to need some time alone.

*Kite walks up to Kira from behind and shouts to his ear.*

Kite: <WHAT'S UP?!>

*He then flashsteps his ass out of there.*

OOC: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUU UUUU UUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUU UUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!

Noct looks over to Euryale, "You didn't miss much, a fight scene, the main characters finally had sex, and the sensei guy was evil the whole time."

--

Mortal looked at Soi Fon, "Well shit, another captain... I'm not going to lie, I would much rather kill your fifth seat than you, hell, I really don't want to hurt you at all, in fact, I could list off a number of things I would rather do to you."

Kira has stronger concentration and ignores the idiot, then descends into the inner world of his Zanpakuto.

<I assure you, your urges repulse me. Let's just skip to your execution. Sting all enemies to death, Suzumebachi.>

*She draws her sword, which then glows gold & moves down her wrist, becoming a sort of black-&-gold gauntlet with a small spike around her middle & ring finger. The next second, she seems to disappear.*
====================================================
E"Damn it, I miss everything!"

<Shh!>

E"I'll 'shh' your whole head!"

L"...What?"

OOC: This is going to be the longest fight in the history of RPs because I refuse to attack her.

Mortal sighed, took a wide stance, and was about to ask her if she was sure, but it seemed like she vanished into thin air. "Duras Escalas!" She shouted, not sure where the attack was coming from, if one was coming at all. All around Mortal were hard, overlapping scales, in a sphere, with only one scale, about three inches square, missing so she could see in front of her. The open scale moved with Mortals eyes, so wherever Mortal looked she would be able to see, while still being protected.

--

Noct looked at Euryale, "That sounds oddly kinky... tell me, how does one 'shh a whole head'?"

*At a different part of the cave, Kite is staring at a wall, standing with his Zanpakuto in his right hand. He holds it vertically in front of his eyes and sighs.*

Kite: <(Okay. Noah said I'm close.)>

[But what do I do...?]

*He hurls the Zanpakuto spinning towards the wall like a boomerang. It hits the wall and bounces off to the ground.*

OOC: I normally wouldn't ask, but you train with your zanpakuto by throwing it at a wall? If I was the spirit in that sword I would add 15 years to your total training time just to spite you.

OOC: Why does everyone in the BB Club OOC so much? And please take that as a rhetorical question.

OOC: What is a BB club?

OOC: "Bleach Buddies." Taegan & Harley came up with the term because they're SR (Super Retarded). Also, it's an RP, get over it.

*There's a loud "clanging" noise behind her.*

<Hmph. Looks like I can't pierce your defenses. Either the enemy is really lucky, or they actually did some research this time around. Had I managed to pierce your shell, you'd be halfway dead. Literally.>
============================================
E"I don't know."

*Lilith is back to making scissoring motions.*
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*Noah enters a bustling, high-tech city. A train speeds by as he steps off of the tracks. The people around are all color swaps of Banshee. The real Banshee appears in front of him.*

<You really expect me to teach you your Bankai whenever you want?>

"Frankly, yes."

*She smiles.*

<It's not up to me. You have to realize for yourself what your true power is. I've never held you back. And, frankly, I don't know my true form. I gain my powers whenever you do. That's how it's always been.>

Mortal turned around to where she heard the noise and saw Soi Fon, "Halfway dead, a little bit proud of your weapon aren't you?" She said. "You know, if you want, you could leave that stabby thing out there, and come in here with me, you'll enjoy it."

--

Noct looks at Lilith, "Tell me, are you projecting, or outright asking this time?"

*Kite catches the Zanpakuto by the blade with his right hand, which is at this point soaked in blood. He holds it with his left hand by the hilt and opens his right hand, staring at the cuts on it.*

[It didn't hit the wall this time...]

*She stabs a tree & a butterfly-like crest appears. She stabs the same spot & the tree begins to wither, finally imploding with the appearance of a similar crest.*

<Death in two strikes. And this fight is far from over. Six Rod Light Prison!>
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L"You're the one calling her kinky & asking for her--ahem--secrets. Always so quick to throw that 'projection' word out, but I don't think you really know what it means, do you?"

Six thin, wide beams of light that slam into a Mortal's midsection, holding her in place. She is a bit shocked by this, as well as Soi's demonstration, "Well, it looks like I'm unable to move any part of my body... I'm not really one for bondage, but I'll take what I can get." She said with a smirk.

--

"I don't really care what it means, so long as I can hear your voice when you reply to my accusations." Noct said with a smile.

<Ye lord! Mask of blood and flesh, all creation, flutter of wings, ye who bears the name of Man! On the wall of blue flame, inscribe a twin lotus. In the abyss of conflagration, wait at the far heavens. Hado, 73, Soren Sokatsui!>

*A large amount of blue fire gathers at each of Soi Fon's hands before she thrusts them out, blasting Mortal.*
===============================================
L"Gay."

E"I think this is the climax."

L"That's what she said."

Mortal sighed as Soi Fon began to chant. "Kido, really, you're supposed to be an assassin, not a sorceress..." With that Mortal closed up her sphere of scales, and focused on hardening them. It wouldn't be at max power, she would need her hands for that, but with the time Soi Fon gave her for the incantation Mortal was given more than enough time to raise her defenses. Once that was done Mortal braced for impact.

The kido slammed into Mortal's defense, and was significantly weakened before finally breaking through. Just as it did break through Mortal let out an ear splitting scream, creating a shockwave, which, in the sphere she was in, created a kind of bubble, deflecting the remainder of the kido.

--

"I'm pretty sure the correct term is lesbian," Noct said with a shrug. "Also, what happened about climaxes?"

Kira opened his eyes and there is was in his inner world.
As far as the eye could see there was a raging black ocean, beating against giant white pillars that stood up and ended just below the clouds.

"Tentei?" Kira looked around for the spirit of his zanpakuto, wondering which pillar she would be standing on.

"Kira..." A voice suddenly slipped into Kira's ear, making him start, "It's been ages since you've visited me, Kira"
Kira spun around and saw her, Tentei, standing right behind him. In her riht hand she carried a flaming, green kido javelin, and all around her body a scentless purple mist hung.
She was perfectly proportioned, and had long purple hair with fierce green eyes, and wore a very light battle costume that boasted her cleavage and curves.
"I agree... it has been too long" Kira nodded, "You're as beautiful as ever, Tentei"
The woman waved a hand and the mist flew up into the sky above them and stayed there, then she sat cross legged on the pillar.
"You flatter me Kira, but I think you should get a haircut" Tentei's voice reminded him of a bird- it fluttered and glided around in the breeze, but was capable of soaring into attack at any moment, "You're looking quite shaggy"
Kira chose to sit too, and tried not to look under Tentei's dress, "Tentei... This is not a pleasure visit... I must ask some important questions"
Her eyebrow rose.
"This man... Noah, whose arm I cut off with you" Kira began, "He speaks of achieving Bankai through simple training and elevated reiatsu... is there any proof to his claims?"
Tentei did not speak, but instead she stood up and pointed at a nearby pillar. When Kira saw it his eyes widened and his mouth opened in a silent gasp.

There was a huge crack down the middle of the pillar, and the smooth, outside surface was deformed and breaking.
"What the hell is happening! These pillars are meant to be practically indestructible, right?!" Kira's mind was racing with worst case scenarios.
"Yes... but they are decaying..." Her voice seemed eerily calm.
"...Does this mean my power is going to... die?" Kira looked at Tentei with pleading eyes, "Am I going to lose you?!"
Tentei shook her head and half-smiled, before saying "Step back".

She raised her javelin above her head and sunk it into the pillar, making it shake and shudder before getting a huge crack down the middle and splitting . Again, she slammed the javelin into it, again and again until it swayed and collapsed completely.

Tentei and Kira both jumped up and away from the collapsing pillar onto a different one.
"Why did you-"
"Shush, Kira, just watch closely" Tentei put a finger to his lips.
When Kira watched, he saw that as the the pillar fell, hundreds of strange masks sat inside it. They looked as though they had been carved out of the pillar itself, and they munched and tore at the rest of it.

"Hollow masks?" Kira sounded defeated, "Am I being hollowfied?... Like Lilith?"
Tentei shrugged, "I don't know... but I can tell you for sure that this strange occurance is causing your reiatsu to go through the roof. If it spreads too far, however, you will lose me."

Kira's eyes shot open, and he was there again in that sunlit clearing.
Damn it... damn it, damn it, damn it!
He took his Zanpakuto and slid it back into the sheath, then went to find Noah.