Wishes Will Be Corrupted

I rather liked this when I saw it on FSTDT. It works like this:

Person 1: I wish I were tall.
Person 2: Granted, you die from elephantitis. I wish I were smarter.
Person 1 or 3: Granted, the government removes your brain to study it. I wish I could do math.
Person x: Granted, you can't do English. I wish I were a unicorn.

Et cetera.

I'll go first:

I wish Script & Loki would post more.

Eeee, I made that thread.

Granted, but you post less.

I wish Taegan would stop fucking off.

Granted, but he doesn't stop talking to you about his secret club.

Granted but the Pierre lands in your bathtub and refuses to move.

I wish Neo would make a wish.

Granted, but it's an awful one.

I wish Taegan would accept how irrelevent Portugal is.

Granted, but Portugal bombs your country.

I wish for more wishes.

Granted, but you can only wish for a smaller penis.

I wish Neon knew how to play the damn game.

Granted, but he uses that knowledge to murder your father and your last name changes to Montoya.

I wish Bleach would end sooner than 10 years from now.

Granted, but it gets a spin-off series.

I wish Evangelion ANIMA was translated.

Granted, but it's edited by xenophobic rednecks.

I wish I had more free time.

Granted, but your family dies, you drop out of school, and can't find a job.

I wish that YoruSoi was finally legitimized by Kubo.

Granted, by he also has Yoruichi murdered brutally after their first kiss.

I wish there were less jerks in the world.

Granted, you're dead.

Once again, I wish Neon knew how to play the damn game.

Granted, but then he just stops playing anyway.

I wish people could just tell you what they want sometimes, instead of just hint it an get offended when you don't get it.

Granted, but your Facebook account gets disabled. I'm sure that's a corruption somehow.

I with the there was a release date for the third Rebuil movie.

Granted, it's been cancelled.

I wish I had ideas for wishes.

Granted, but they're awful.

I wish Neon didn't suck.

Granted, but then he starts ignoring you.

I wish that rap, hip hop, punk and screamo all ceased to exist.

Granted, but you realized your life is empty without the Sex Pistols and you shoot yourself.

I wish Loki didn't suck.

Granted, he's now more liked than you.

I wish you'd stop making the same wish at different people.

Granted, but somewhere down the lines you get cancer. I don't know why.

I wish this thread was good.

Granted, the forum dies.

I wish for more yuri.

Granted, but you go blind and deaf.

I wish my cough would go away.