Wishes Will Be Corrupted

Granted, your diaphragm exploded.

I wish you all had more interesting wishes.

Granted, but then you realize how dull you are and hang yourself.

I wish that Harley knew more about music.

Granted, but you continue to no nothing about it.

I wish the General Discussion section wasn't awful.

Granted, you get permabanned.

I wish I could fly.

Granted, then you are attacked by a flock of birds and drop into a lake from the clouds, killed on impact.

I wish that I could go back to my old lifestyle of seclusion and boredom.

Granted, you kill yourself due to loneliness and boredom.

I wish I had fucking laser beam eyes!

Granted, they fuck your eyes to oblivion.

I wish I could unsee that mental image.

Granted, you get a brain parasite.

I wish I had shrinky dinks.

Granted, you burn your house down using the oven to shrink your dinks.

I wish I didn't know what shrinky dinks were.

Granted, but your life is meaningless.

I wish octopi weren't weird and squishy.

Granted, they become sentient and take over the world.

I wish that I wished wishes.

Octopi are actually really smart. And adorable.

Your wish is too stupid to bother with.

I wish you acknowledged the amazingness of octopi.

Granted, in some weird fetish mindset he kills them all then himself.

I wish I had a cult.

Granted, but you and your followers all die in a bloody shoot out with the FBI.

I wish I had a dinosaur.

Granted, it rapes you to death.

I wish you didn't ninja me.

Granted, I samurai'd you instead.

I wish that didn't have horrible implications.

Granted, you flat out have gay sex with him instead.

I wish I had a dinosaur too.

Granted, but it bites your head off and your brain stays alive long enough for you to know it's being swallowed.

I wish something cool would happen.

Granted, it's a new ice age.

I wish I was warm.

Granted, the Sun goes Red Giant.

I wish I could survive in space.

Granted, but a comet smashes into you.

I wish all of my wishes were impossible to corrupt.

Granted, you never make a wish.

I with I could eat a panda.

Granted, you catch some ridiculous asian disease and die a horrible, painful, slow death.

I wish i wasnt as tired as i am at the moment.

Granted, however, you will be unable to fall asleep once you go to bed.

I wish... uh... let's see... Ah! I wish Loki made a post in the RP.

Granted, but it results in the death of the RP. That is indeed a corruption.

I wish it wasn't ten after seven in the morning.