Wishes Will Be Corrupted

Granted, you're Kaien Shiba.

I wish that last wish didn't suck.

Granted, but her other wishes still suck.

I wish you'd stop making wishes.

Neo: Granted, all the wishes suck so that one doesn't stand out.
Harley: Granted, he'd shut up and leave.

I wish you'd stop lying to me, Neo.

Granted, but the truth is worse.

I wish you weren't a cyberstalker.

Granted, but then I'd be a pedophile. (Not.)

I wish you got over Rei.

Granted, but I become obsessed with Mari.

I wish you'd fall in love with Rei Hino.

Granted, but then she comes to your house and murders you with a cheese grater.

I wish I had more dogs.

Granted, but then you'd become one.

I wish I had Shinso.

Granted, but he leaves you after stealing all your valubles.

I wish I didn't have to go outside.

Granted, you're in a coma.

I wish I had super powers.

Granted, but they're awful like Jubilee's fireworks.

I wish Jubilee didn't suck.

Granted, she murders you for knocking her fireworks.

I wish the mod souls were more relevent.

Granted, they get their own spin off sitcom in which Kon takes the role of Charlie Sheen.

I wish I had a gun license.

Granted, but you don't have the money to buy a gun.

I wish CSI wasn't the same crap every episode in each spin-off.

Granted, it's always different but much, much worse.

I wish someone would bludgeon Charlie Sheen to death and then destroy every copy of every episode of Two and a Half Men.

Granted, Charlie Sheen's ghost comes to haunt you. (Why the sudden hate, btw?)

I wish to see the conclusion of the Zach's Sandy Vagina story.

Granted, but it gets deleted before you have a chance to read it.

I wish I'd use my free time to write the conclusion for the story in question.

Granted, it turns out terrible.

I wish you were Irish.

Granted, he glasses you in the face (and I hate Charlie Sheen because he sucks...)

I wish minecraft worked on my laptop when i wanted it to.

Jokes on you, I do have some Irish roots.

Granted, but your hands get eaten by jackals.

I wish I had a fistful of steel.

Granted, but then some fag would come along, shoot you and take it.
And I knew you had Irish roots-that's why I said Irish back there.

I wish I could come up with better corruptions.

Granted, but in some cheesy horror movie style, they all happen to you.

I wish Digimanz were real. HEHEHEDIGICLIPSE.

Granted, he has become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, and thousands of Two & A Half Men spin-offs are made in his memory.

I wish for sex. With a woman. Who isn't fat or anorexic. Or has an STD. Or is any kind of criminal.

Granted. Enjoy your yandere.

I wish I had a childhood friend who'd eventually become my lover like in all those bad doujins.

Granted, it developes into a horrible abusive relationship.

I wish you'd stop dropping lame Tropes.