Wishes Will Be Corrupted

Granted, but as a result Senthose is never brought up in conversation ever again.

I wish you'd stop writing off every Trope you don't know as lame.

I'd have to do that before I could grant your wish.

Uhhh....
I wish Harley got a girlfriend. For his sake.

Granted, but due to my emotional distancy it doesn't work out. Just like last time.

I wish the overall quality of these wishes would drastically improve.

Granted, the corruptions are much lamer.

I wish the corruptions would improve.

Granted, the wishes are much lamer.
There is no happy medium. Is there?

Anyway, I wish I had a gigantic personal library. Biggest in the world.

Granted, but your eyes fall out and your hands fall off.

I wish I had a skeleton like Wolverine's.

Granted, you get the bad attitude & being hunted down that comes with it.

I wish I had laser vision.

Granted, you can't control it though and you destroy everything and everyone you see before you are shot and killed by the FBI.

I wish bogans would die out.

Granted, but they're replaced with guidos.

I wish Saskatoon would sink into the earth.

Granted, like a plant, it grows back out even bigger, overtaking the rest of Canada.

I wish Harley didn't act like Canada didn't suck.

Granted, but your country's economy is still in the crapper.

I wish I didn't have a typical white male ass.

Granted, but you go to jail, and your ass is coveted so much that you're the bitch of the entire cell block.

I wish every possible negative event that could happen to me happens.

Granted, you suffer a fate worse than death.

I wish I found a bike with working brakes.

Granted, you still can't ride it.

I wish that something with no possible bad side effects or problems with it that is absolutely and completely good and pure would happen to me.

Granted, you get ice cream. Ice cream that you will eat while knowing that this is the best that's going to happen with your life.

I wish I had an apple.

Granted, but you're in Mexico.

I wish Harley wasn't shit.

Granted, I remain the same.

I wish Loki could think of wishes rather than recycling previous ones.

Granted, you're the one recycling.

I wish I could kill Harley right about now.

Granted, but I respawn.

I wish you'd stop making wishes involving me.

Granted, I make wishes concerning much more disturbing things.

I wish for the cheesecake in the fridge to miraculously grow--so that I don't run out of the delicacy.

Granted, but it has sentient though and tentacles and it decides to rebel against it's tormentor and murders you.

I wish that people didn't try and spy on what I do on my laptop.

I never did that.
Granted, they spy on what you do in the bathroom.

I wish I could come up with a really cool, not Final Fantasy style Vincent Valentine for my stories.

Granted, someone steals your idea.

I wish I had an endless supply of choc drizzle cookies.

Granted, but you're pumped full of them until your digestive tract explodes. The smell causes your family to become cannibals and they eat your corpse.

I wish I wish I were a fish.