Wishes Will Be Corrupted

Granted, you die of scale rot.

I wish the dishwasher didn't need done.

Granted, instead everything else does.

I wish I had a job.

Granted, you clean sewers for pennies a day.

I wish you'd get on MSN.

Granted, but I block you.

I wish you weren't a bitch.

Granted, but his newly discovered kindness forces him to leave the country to feed the poor in some country where the Internet isn't accessible. He then proceeds to find the solution for world hunger, but demands that you become his bitch, to which the rest of the world happily obliges to.

I wish for a volcano.

Granted, but you fall into it.

I wish for a beer volcano.

Granted, but you don't get any of the beer.

I wish for leg cancer.

Granted, it spreads to your brain & kills you slowly.

I wish I had the cure to cancer.

Granted, you are targeted and are shot on night when you're sleeping.

I wish today wasn't DeviantArt's 11th birthday.

Granted, it's its fifteenth.

I wish DeviantArt never existed.

Granted, all the emo chicks that populate it come here.

I wish I could remember my Deviantart account.

You had a dA account? *shock and awe*
Granted, they don't remember you.

I wish I was worshiped more on dA.

I didn't know anyone there, genius.

Granted, it is devil worship, & the Christian Right intervenes to get you permabanned.

I wish Script weren't dead.

Granted, but he still doesn't post.

I wish Taegan wasn't dumb.

Granted, but he becomes a smartass.

I wish I lived in a cave.

Granted, but the bear inside isn't too happy.

I wish trivia shows didn't suck.

Granted, but then you'd ruin your sight by watching them 24/7.

I wish you changed your avatar and/or sig.

Granted, he changes it to Twilight.

I wish Loki was posting.

Granted, but his posts continue to be stupid.

I wish I was as fabulous as Kaworu.

Granted, you die just like him.

I wish I had Kaworu's powers.

Granted, but you die like he did in Re-Take.

I wish the second half of Re-Take didn't suck.

Granted, it never got finished.

I wish you'd stop reading shitty Eva fanfics.

Granted, I continue to read Neon Genesis Evangelion: R, but I never read ARSENAL.

I wish you'd die.

Granted, but he takes you with him.

I wish that the wish in the post below this post would not be corrupted.

Granted, but then the thread dies.

I wish that was actually a corruption.